Love
Christian life, Christian family, and the Church must begin and be built with love until the end. Let us delve into these subjects under each category.
Christian life
Christian life is the life of Christ. No person can be a Christian by himself. Christian life starts after receiving Christ and is to be continued by the power of Christ. Nominal Christians who are Christians in name only (CINO) start
their Christian life with their own strength without receiving Christ first, so they cannot succeed. Even though one identifies himself as a Christian, he does not live the life Christ desires of him. Therefore, to these kinds of Christians, to follow Christ's will is something very monumentally difficult and next to impossible. They are like a car without gasoline. If one fills the fuel tank with water, which looks similar to gasoline, the car will not be moving at all. Instead of building life with Christ, CINO people build their Christian life by relying on their own understanding. They cannot live a true Christian life. Therefore, Christ has said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5).
Since true Christians are those who have received Christ, they are like a car filled with gas. Again, the car may be full of gas, but if the engine has not started, it will not be moving even with gasoline being in the fuel tank. Despite not using gasoline power on downhill, however, because of the nature of the inclination, the car may go down with speed. It may even out run the gasoline-powered car in that situation. Many Christians who have received Christ do not use the power of Christ. These Christians, just like the CINO, use their own effort, so they dedicate their life to God when the road ahead is downhill and easy (ie. when everything is convenient for them); But when they are in poor health, lose their job and are without income, or at times of hardships, they are unable to dedicate their life (ie. climbing uphill) anymore. In a normal condition, a car is not to be pushed whether it's downhill or uphill, but is to run on the power of gasoline. Not only is the driver not tired when running on gasoline power, but he can travel very far.
If those who received Jesus acknowledge Christ's rule in their lives, like a car that runs on gasoline, they will be able to keep going whether they are facing problems, sufferings, losing job, or confronting death in the family. They will be able to dedicate their life to God not only in good times but also in bad times, and will have patient and humble heart. Their life will be like what the psalmist said, "but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. 3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers. (Psalm 1:2-3)
The fuel gauge shows whether the car is runing with gas. But how can we know if a person's Christian life is running with the power of God or not? The followings are the indicators if one does not use God's power or not: Relying on own's thinking and understanding, And putting trust and relying on others. When one put more trust on a fellow man it results in: depression, fear, worrying, arguing, fighting with others, not reading the Bible, seeing faults of others, not able to get along with others, and committing sins. However, if one has gone down so much so that he is incapable of seeing, is ignoring, is neglecting these indicators, he would become like a car running out of gas. He would be unable to continue on his path, and his life will eventually come to a halt. At that point, he might quit from attending church; change job; move to other town; or might be imprisoned, divorced, lose job or become homeless. Therefore, one must examine himself to see if he's running his life without using the power of God or not. If a person lives a carnal Christian life according to his own strength, he should repent, and ask God for forgiveness, then start to rely on the power of God to run his life again.
The Bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. 8 This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones."(Proverbs 3:5-8)
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord. 6 That person will be like a bush in the wastelands; they will not see prosperity when it comes. They will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. 7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. 8 They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." (Jeremiah 17:5-8)
"Why do you complain, Jacob? Why do you say, Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God”? 28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:2-31)
Husband and wife
Husband and wife began with love. In their courtship, they were madly in love. Because they didn't want to live separately, they made a vow and decided to get married. They tried to understand each other's weaknesses, and did not see them as anything wrong. So they were able to forgive each other. Marriage is not established with rules and regulation. It was founded by love. But when time passed, little by little, the love between husband and wife began to deteriorate. Rules and regulations were drawn between them. They started fighting. After they could not meet each other's requirements, they tend to terminate the union in divorce. In the beginning, they couldn't live without seeing each other for a day and couldn't stop talking with each other because they were very much in love. In the end, they don't want to see each other and don't want to be together. Even if their spouse dies, they feel as though they will not be sad. The reason they hate each other so much to the point of breaking up is because love between them has faded.
The same way you need to refill the car before it runs out of gas, love needs to be replenished before it runs out between husband and wife. You can see how much fuel the car still has by looking at the fuel gauge. Love between husband and wife can be accessed by observing their lives. If the conversation between the husband and wife often gets louder that follows fighting between them, know that the love between them has decreased. If the husband and the wife cannot walk together and are avoiding each other, love has depleted. If they don't want to see their significant other, don't want to do anything with them, or can't forgive but could find fault all the time, love has diminished.
There are many reasons for the vanishing of love. Let us highlight the main points: Working too much makes love to subside. When the work is tiring, the spending time together between husband and wife becomes less. If you focus only on work, you cannot take care of your spouse. Hence, the problem. The reason why a person is too busy is because he or she wants to make more money. Therefore, the Bible says, "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to[a] those he loves." (Psalm 12:1-2) Here, we want to emphasize and explain, "rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat." Why do a person has to get up early? It is to work. He earns money by working so hard. He works so hard because he wants to build their marriage with money. However, earning money can lead to shortages of love. Getting rich could lead to argument between the husband and wife because of different of opinions on spending it. In addition, the love for their spouse may decrease due to close contact with people in the workplace. Then, because the person is not that happy at home anymore, he or she finds all kinds of reasons and starts planning to be home late.
Other things that could lead to diminishing of love are pursuing hobbies; spouse's poor health; too much interruptions at home by children; prioritization of affairs of relatives over own's spouse; not helping spouse with house chores but putting blame for not giving care when coming home. Some men think cooking, taking care of children, and doing household chores are for women only. Nobody get paid for doing household chores, but it really is very tiring. Men tend not to understand that. If you are such a man, come to your senses and be a responsible man. A man is not a king. It is not to make a woman to serve you as a slave.
Some women fail to fulfill their womanly duties. They tend to spend too much time with friends on the phone, or to waste time on the internet, only to stoke anger of their husband, so, they get blamed for it; Rather than improving their parenting skill, they spend much time on facial makeup routine. If you are such a mother or wife, you will have problems with your husband. It's wise to make an immediate U-turn as soon as possible and develop rather good behavior.
If love has decreased as described above, you need to refill the full amount of love gasoline. If the car runs out of gas (in the case of gasoline powered vehicles), it cannot be substituted with a different oil. Likewise, if the love between husband and wife has deminished, it cannot be replaced with other materials such as money, hobby, rules, nor committing domestic violence. Love is the only thing that must and should fill the empty tank.
How do you fill with the fuel of love? You can do that by revisiting how it felt like and what you did when you first fell in love. Agree to your spouse's wishes. In fact, physical intimacy is not the only love there is. Love is caring; compassion; remembering them when you are far away; and helping one another. Paul said, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) .
The shortage of love is like physical illness. When your body is sick, you can't eat the food you usually eat. You often want to vomit; You can't swallow. So, it is necessary to gradually eat soft foods while taking the medicine. On the other hand, if you don't eat anything because you are sick, you may eventually die. It takes time to get healthy. When you become healthy, you can eat normally, then you can move around and work.
For the love between husband and wife to be healthy, they need constant caring for each other. A husband and wife are to be built with love from the beginning to the end. Paul said, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25). Not only men, women are to love their husband. Didn't they get married because husband and wife love each other at the first place? Why did Paul wrote about love? It was because love can diminish. When the car almost runs out of gas, the driver cannot think of anything else. All he can think of is finding the nearest gas station and refueling. When the car gets filled, the driver is happy and calm. Similarly, when you are full of love with your spouse, there are joy, security, peace, hope, and refreshing married life. For that reason, if you and your spouse are running low on love, do not ignore it. Replenish your love as soon as possible. You will be very happy.
Parents and children
When parents give birth to their children, they do not set rules and regulations for their children. They are madly in love with their children no matter how much they have to suffer sleep deprivation. They life may become very tiring after the birth of a child, but parents feed and care for their children. That's how they build a family. But when the children grow up, stop listening, and giving problems and headaches, parents lose the first love they had at the time when he or she was born. They even come to think that it would be better off if they simply leave the house. In fact, the parents and their children started life together with love, but later they get into fighting, bringing lawsuit against each other, and eventually they resort to get separated.
Why can't parents love their children? There are various reasons. If parents love their children too much when they are young because of lack of parenting skills, they do not teach or discipline their children enough, so they became lazy and spoiled. Parents need to know how to love their children. The duty of the parents is not to love their children only but also to feed, take care of, protect them from danger, teach, and discipline. However, many parents only go so far as loving their children by feeding them. They do not do any teaching. Even if the children do something bad, they are not reprimanded for their bad behavior. Children should be taught and asked to work from their early age. If they fail to listen and behave badly, he must be disciplined properly. In the absence of such teaching and disciplining, children become useless and become troublemakers. By that time, it is too late to reprimand the grownup child. There is no benefit for reprimanding them. The grownup children instead may now feel that their parents do not love them, and all they know is to find fault on them all the time. If the child never work, he becomes lazy and develop a bad personality. In this way, love between parents and children evaporates. There is a consequence for not teaching children when they are young, but only working hard and spending very little time with them. Love is more than blood relationship. Love is built by spending time together. For that reason, parents should spend time together with their children. Don't be just chasing after work and your hobbies.uld spend time together with their children. Don't be just chasing after work and your hobbies.
There are many reasons for the decrease in love between parents and children. It is impossible to describe them all at once. If there is a lack of love between parents and children, the reason why needs to be discovered. The love between parents and children cannot be filled by other things. It is necessary to replenish love again. If the things mentioned above are indeed the reasons, they need to be remedied as soon as possible. Although parents love and give birth to their children, if they do not care for and teach, it is as though they actually hate their children, and they tend to get involved in infighting and be separated eventually.
And so, if there is a problem between you and your children, go back and solve the problem with love. Receive God's help through prayer. Most problems cannot be resolved overnight. It takes time. Let life that started with love end with love.
The church
The true Church started with God's love. Christ Himself said, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16). John wrote that the Son loved mankind to the point of giving up his life. "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters" (1 John 3:16)
Paul said that the church was purchased by Christ with his blood. "Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God,[a] which he bought with his own blood." (Acts 20:28)
Fake churches are established for exercising religion, maintaining certain tradition, preserving of nations and languages, and various other reasons. Therefore, for those fake churches, the purpose of God is not important; In those churches, they do not use the power of the Holy Spirit; they build their church by constitution, rules and regulations, by human wisdom and understanding, and by manpower and money. In those fake churches, love is not the main thing.
To be a true Church, it must be built with love. The spiritual people build the Church by sharing the gospel of salvation with love to lost souls, with compassion in the midst of hardship and problems. Therefore, when the church is newly established, spiritual parents would support, care for with patient, their spiritual children-- the same way parent warmly love, care for, and happily nurture their new born babies. We see this in Paul's letter that true spiritual parents love their spiritual children. "We were not looking for praise from people, not from you or anyone else, even though as apostles of Christ we could have asserted our authority. 7 Instead, we were like young children among you. Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, 8 so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well." (1 Thessalonians 2:6-8 )
Again, "But Timothy has just now come to us from you and has brought good news about your faith and love. He has told us that you always have pleasant memories of us and that you long to see us, just as we also long to see you." ( 1 Thessalonians 3:6) It is seen that Paul and the Thessalonians loved each other very much. True churches must be like that. But most churches today do not enjoy love between pastors and members. They tend to find each other's fault.
Church members are also to love each other and have a good relationship. There was no love among members of the Corinthian church. "You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans?” (1 Corinthians 3:3) Is your church like the Corinthian church? Is there any competing for honor, infighting, or division in your church? If there is, if is important to resolve with love, and not with rules and regulations. A church without love cannot go that far. Not only that. Because the church is sick, it is ineffective and useless. Start with yourself to return to love in the church. Start with prayers. Care for others. Be humble minded. And rely upon the power of God.
